It’s not always a thing now, and that’s a really good thing.
Giving away the bride isn’t always a thing anymore—and that’s a really good thing!
With modern laws including marriage equality, ‘escorted down the aisle’ includes weddings without a bride. Importantly, however you choose to describe it, it’s a much more personal symbol than it used to be. Today, it’s a sentimental gesture of two families joining together.
But back to tradition. If a father isn’t available or doesn’t fill that role, mums, siblings, children, and grandparents are asked to stand in. Or maybe walk down the aisle together.
The Tradition of Giving Away the Bride: A Modern Perspective
Giving away the bride is a tradition with deep historical roots. Yet as weddings modernise, it has become one of the many elements of a wedding to change. Many couples are rethinking this age-old custom, adapting it to fit modern values and family dynamics. Let’s look at where the tradition started and why we’re leaving it behind.
A Glimpse Into the Past
Historically, the custom of giving away the bride goes back to a time when marriage was about business, not love. Here’s why it was done:
- Patriarchy: In the past, people considered women the property of their fathers until they married. Moreover, once married, they became the responsibility of their husbands. The act of a father giving away his daughter symbolized the transfer of ownership.
- Dowries and Alliances: Families used to arrange marriages to strengthen ties, secure wealth, or form alliances.Because the marriage secured that transaction, the ceremony of giving her away was a public acknowledgment of the deal.
- Protection and Provision: People saw fathers as protectors of their daughters, and they gave them away to ensure the new husband would take on this role and protect his new wife.
The Changing Face of Weddings
Today, marriages are about love, partnership, and equality. Customs and traditions are changing quite quickly as people can now express their personalities within their ceremonies.
Relationships are increasingly based on equality, with both partners being equal partners in their relationship & the decisions they make together. Many couples find the idea of a woman being “given away” by her father outdated and contradictory.
Here’s why the tradition of giving away the bride is becoming less common:
- Independence: Today, most people getting married are financially independent and self-sufficient, making the notion of being “given away” feel irrelevant or even patronizing. Women are making it clear that they belong to themselves and are entering marriage as equals.
- Changing Family Dynamics: With the rise of blended families, single-parent households, and diverse family structures, the traditional role of the father as the sole “giver” doesn’t always fit. Some brides choose to have both parents walk them down the aisle. Alternatively, others prefer to walk alone, symbolizing their independence.
- Personalization of Ceremonies: As we move from traditional church weddings to civil wedding ceremonies, couples have much more freedom to personalize their weddings, reflecting their unique personalities and values. Many couples are choosing to skip the traditional elements that don’t resonate with them, including the practice of giving away the bride.
- Equality in Marriage: Happily, and importantly, there isn’t always a bride at a wedding, meaning there’s no one in a white dress to be escorted down the aisle.
Alternatives to the Traditional Walk Down the Aisle
For those who feel that the tradition doesn’t fit with their values or family situation, here are some meaningful alternatives:
- Walking Together: Some couples choose to walk down the aisle together, symbolizing their partnership and mutual commitment from the very start of the ceremony.
- Parents’ Participation: Other options are being embraced instead of just fathers escorting down the aisle. It can be equally important for some to ask both parents to escort them down the aisle. Alternatively, the groom’s parents can join in, reflecting the union of two families.
- Solo Entrance: Walking down the aisle alone can be a powerful statement of independence and self-assurance.
- Other Family: Some people already have children and opting to be accompanied by them or a sibling can celebrate the importance of other family ties whilst giving a nod to the original tradition.
- No Walk at All: In some cases, couples may choose to start the ceremony together at the front, with no formal processional, which can emphasize that their union is a partnership from the outset.
Embracing Modern Traditions
The beauty of weddings today is that they can be whatever the couple wants them to be. Traditions like giving away the bride hold sentimental value for some people. Others prefer to find new ways to celebrate their union that feel more authentic to who they are.
Ultimately, the choice to include or adapt this tradition is a personal one. What matters most is that your ceremony reflects your values, beliefs, and love as a couple. Will you stick to tradition or pave your own path? Whichever way you go, the focus should always be on celebrating in a way that feels right for you.